Thursday, 16 May 2013

Ramblings of a freak...

So on Tuesday I completed my Graphic Design degree (hopefully). I'm now enjoying mundane tasks like mowing the lawn and making special trips to Sainbury's. But today, as I was sitting in the hair-dressers, my mind really did wander past it's usual perimeter. In fact I was so inspired to write these bubbling thoughts that I got a pen and paper out right there and then. The hair-dresser must of thought I was a nutter and slightly annoying for wriggling. 

Anyway, I boiled my thoughts down and I've finalised them into two lists. All great things begin and end with list (in my opinion). The first point on my first list, which is entitled- 'Things I do have time for' is... YouTube.
YouTube is one of the ways in which I can waste endless hours of my life. There is nothing greater than watching someone try and play an instrument who can't play that instrument or watching a dog chase a heard of deer. It's funny. It also puts life into perspective and I will be forever thankful that there will always be someone on YouTube that is so weird that I instantly feel better about everything. My original first point was 'I have time for wasting time' but I thought YouTube illustrates this point perfectly.

The first one on my second list, which is entitled 'Things I do not have time for' is... inappropriate facebook stalking. This, like my YouTube point, is just an example of a broader point; 'I do not have time for scrutinising others'. The truth is I find it very easy to see a photograph of a beautiful friend holding a perfect teddy bear from her perfect 6ftMillion boyfriend who is cradling her with his strong muscular arms and think- 'When will it be my turn to receive a small toy from a sexual god who will nurture and protect me from cold hard loneliness'. The answer to that; When I stop looking at other people and thinking they have it better. Because really, we're all going to get old and die and actually I enjoy my cold lonely life when I'm not trawling through other people's photographs.

Back to the happy list... I do have time for being influenced. I LOVE having people to look up to. Everyone who wants good morals should let themselves be influenced. If there's no-one to idolise in your immediate life, I'll name a few...
  • Jesus- very nice guy
  • Gandhi- also nice
  • Mother Teresa- nice
  • Buddha- the same
  • Myself- joking
Number 3. Work when you need to work and don't put it off. This is probably the point I find hardest to put into practice. But somethings just have to be done. And if you can't empathise with this point- who ARE you!?

And to finalise my happy list; I ALWAYS have time for organisation. Whether that be tidying, cooking or literally organising something. Organisation makes the world go round.

Now I've written so much about what I have time for I'm not sure I want to return to the sad list. So I'll sum up quickly. No time for laziness. No time for public displays of affection... Holding hands, fine. Peck on the check, also fine. And sometimes in a really intimate moment it can not be helped but per-lease there is no need to massage one another's bums as you walk down the supermarket isle. 
Lastly... I have no time for dicks. Be nice to people. 

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