Tuesday, 28 May 2013


As you can see I am currently free to do whatever... However I have set a few little rules for the next few weeks:

1. Stay in touch with people.
2. Stop the venting and complaining.
3. Go outside.
4. Don't expect it to last forever.
5. Keep creating.
6. Be the kind of person I would want my younger sister to be.
7. Stop taking things personally.
8. Remember I am already enough.
9. Let go.
10. Start where I am

Friday, 24 May 2013

Future Weeks

It's another grey typical English day. I've finally had enough of reading so it's time for a blog entry...

Today I fixed a basket onto my bike which I weirdly found very therapeutic. Fitting screws and blots into places is extremely fun for me. I started thinking about fun while I was doing that and thought about the photographer Edward Weston when he wrote in his journal that he'd spent the day in "a holiday of work but work which was play".

I've been thinking about work a lot too. If University has taught me anything it's that I am a very weird (and sometimes wonderful) person. But the truth is, after exploring what it's like to live away from home and be completely independent, I want nothing more then to return home. I think knowing what drives and inspires us is a fundamental characteristic to have.... And right now, I can't think of anything less suited to me then full-time employment. It's not that I'm lazy and never want a place of my own, it's not that I don't care about money either it's just right now I feel like there are SO many potential paths I could go down that I need to be somewhere that I feel like me. I never felt like that during University.

Anyway, recently I've been spending a lot of time with my Grand-mother. She lives with us at home and she is constantly complaining about how unhelpful and unreliable her carers are. I've had a brainwave that I could potentially be her carer. Either way, I'm going to need a part-time job because I'm planning on setting up a small photography business. I mentioned it to her a couple of days ago but she's very conservative when it comes to new ideas. We'll just see how that goes.

Thursday, 16 May 2013

Ramblings of a freak...

So on Tuesday I completed my Graphic Design degree (hopefully). I'm now enjoying mundane tasks like mowing the lawn and making special trips to Sainbury's. But today, as I was sitting in the hair-dressers, my mind really did wander past it's usual perimeter. In fact I was so inspired to write these bubbling thoughts that I got a pen and paper out right there and then. The hair-dresser must of thought I was a nutter and slightly annoying for wriggling. 

Anyway, I boiled my thoughts down and I've finalised them into two lists. All great things begin and end with list (in my opinion). The first point on my first list, which is entitled- 'Things I do have time for' is... YouTube.
YouTube is one of the ways in which I can waste endless hours of my life. There is nothing greater than watching someone try and play an instrument who can't play that instrument or watching a dog chase a heard of deer. It's funny. It also puts life into perspective and I will be forever thankful that there will always be someone on YouTube that is so weird that I instantly feel better about everything. My original first point was 'I have time for wasting time' but I thought YouTube illustrates this point perfectly.

The first one on my second list, which is entitled 'Things I do not have time for' is... inappropriate facebook stalking. This, like my YouTube point, is just an example of a broader point; 'I do not have time for scrutinising others'. The truth is I find it very easy to see a photograph of a beautiful friend holding a perfect teddy bear from her perfect 6ftMillion boyfriend who is cradling her with his strong muscular arms and think- 'When will it be my turn to receive a small toy from a sexual god who will nurture and protect me from cold hard loneliness'. The answer to that; When I stop looking at other people and thinking they have it better. Because really, we're all going to get old and die and actually I enjoy my cold lonely life when I'm not trawling through other people's photographs.

Back to the happy list... I do have time for being influenced. I LOVE having people to look up to. Everyone who wants good morals should let themselves be influenced. If there's no-one to idolise in your immediate life, I'll name a few...
  • Jesus- very nice guy
  • Gandhi- also nice
  • Mother Teresa- nice
  • Buddha- the same
  • Myself- joking
Number 3. Work when you need to work and don't put it off. This is probably the point I find hardest to put into practice. But somethings just have to be done. And if you can't empathise with this point- who ARE you!?

And to finalise my happy list; I ALWAYS have time for organisation. Whether that be tidying, cooking or literally organising something. Organisation makes the world go round.

Now I've written so much about what I have time for I'm not sure I want to return to the sad list. So I'll sum up quickly. No time for laziness. No time for public displays of affection... Holding hands, fine. Peck on the check, also fine. And sometimes in a really intimate moment it can not be helped but per-lease there is no need to massage one another's bums as you walk down the supermarket isle. 
Lastly... I have no time for dicks. Be nice to people.